3-4 lbs. Whole Chicken, giblets removed, rinsed out and off, patted dry
Salt and Pepper, in a small bowl
1 Lemon, halved
1 Head Garlic, cut in half crosswise
1 Bunch Fresh Herbs; Sage, Rosemary, Thyme
2 Tbsp. Olive Oil, in a small bowl
1 Onion, cut into wedges like an apple
Preheat the oven to 475 degrees. Place the chicken, breast side up, into a roasting pan, or oven safe pot big enough to hold it. Tuck it's tiny little arms under it. (The Physicist: "They're wings! Jeez!") Salt and pepper the cavity, then shove both halves of the lemon, both halves of the garlic, and the bunch of herbs in. Cram it all in there, you can do it. Close the little skin flaps over it, and secure 'em with toothpicks. Brush the whole bird with the olive oil.
Then massage the salt and pepper all over, into the skin and squeeze all the onion wedges around the bird.
The whole thing should look like the picture to the left. ("You can take off the gloves now.")
At this point, you can put it in the oven, and set a timer for about an hour and fifteen minutes. It might need more time than that, but a food thermometer into the thigh should read 160 degrees when it's done.
And it should look like this! This skin should be crisp and all golden, and the smell should be mouthwatering and slightly herbaceous. Fluid, when it's pierced with a fork, should run clear.
We did it! We roasted a chicken! We can do anything! (Except remove the giblets.)